you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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