I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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