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me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
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