Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.