Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): There's a dildo in the cheerios box here... http://tfl.nu/sohe
  Replies (12) Good night (1320) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6731) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3097) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp
  Replies (8) Good night (3044) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager. http://tfl.nu/h00w
  Replies (8) Good night (4778) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2651) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting. http://tfl.nu/j3yf
  Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years. http://tfl.nu/b9ln
  Replies (12) Good night (1823) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again.. (973): We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks.. http://tfl.nu/kzt5
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices. http://tfl.nu/v5r6
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix. http://tfl.nu/g0qx
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  I have feelings that need drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): I have feelings that need drinking. http://tfl.nu/xiez
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans http://tfl.nu/4qeg
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (739)

Randomize