Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

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(808): and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off. http://tfl.nu/1s60

Replies (80) Good night (775) Bad night (6593)
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(517): View more from Michigan

my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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(517): my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab. http://tfl.nu/ejcr

Replies (22) Good night (591) Bad night (5085)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium

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(763): I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium http://tfl.nu/c873

Replies (10) Good night (4290) Bad night (1143)
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(410): View more from Maryland

There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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(410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr

Replies (17) Good night (1331) Bad night (5780)
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(607): View more from New York

his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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(607): his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop. http://tfl.nu/p3uz

Replies (10) Good night (3671) Bad night (822)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

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(330): I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner http://tfl.nu/m02y

Replies (7) Good night (2032) Bad night (1332)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20

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(651): I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20 http://tfl.nu/s3lf

Replies (3) Good night (2126) Bad night (891)
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(916): View more from California

I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�

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(916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished� http://tfl.nu/f0m1

Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (656)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.

(770): View more from Georgia

I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.

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(770): You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine. (770): I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon. http://tfl.nu/cq2b

Replies (0) Good night (1287) Bad night (489)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

(336): View more from North Carolina

You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

(704): View more from North Carolina

Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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(704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5

Replies (7) Good night (1383) Bad night (546)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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(860): people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids http://tfl.nu/scfe

Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (399)
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(214): View more from Texas

I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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(214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin

Replies (9) Good night (340) Bad night (769)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.

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(479): Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie. http://tfl.nu/n54r

Replies (7) Good night (860) Bad night (261)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free

(502): View more from Kentucky

Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"

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(859): We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free (502): Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels" http://tfl.nu/26v2

Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (316)
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(440): View more from Ohio

My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".

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(440): My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted". http://tfl.nu/wdt8

Replies (5) Good night (860) Bad night (241)

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