How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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