I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
