dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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