hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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