oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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