I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
