if you like me you must not know who I am
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize