Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
