How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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