rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
