Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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