singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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