SEEEEXXX PLEASE
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
