omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
