So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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