Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
