He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
