WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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