just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize