Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
