whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
