The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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