i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
