can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
