Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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