Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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