Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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