birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
