turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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