I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
