I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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