We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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