How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize