trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
