she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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