The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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