before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
