Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
