He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
