You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Semen is not good for contacts.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
