Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
