toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
