yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
