I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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