Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
