The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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