she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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