do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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