i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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