On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
