I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize