hotel room ftw
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
