Sponge bath it is.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
