you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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