The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
