Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
