dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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